We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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