So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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