remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
