i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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