I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you traded sex for a burrito?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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