Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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