Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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