I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
