all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
