Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
