Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
