I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize