How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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