I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
