when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
