I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
