They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
