I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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