okay pat passed out under dana's car
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
