I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
