If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
