u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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