Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you still have your period?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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