dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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