Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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