North Korea, Best Korea!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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