I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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