Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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