Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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