Quick, to the slutcave!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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