Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
