Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
