does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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