So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
