No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
