I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
