I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
