Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
