Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
