I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
