I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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