Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
