I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
