Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
