You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize