Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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