Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
