someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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