It's Friday. Sex?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
