I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
