theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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