I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it was like eating out sand paper
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
