I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
