before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
