Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
