this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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