He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
