Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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