so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
