normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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