8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
