I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
