Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
