now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
