You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
